Hello, i understand that there’s a lot of people who are ill.
So am I, this is my story. Maybe this is how i can help a little someone who fight everyday.

My story starts when i was at middle school, never was bullied and I didn’t bullied anyone.
Every student at that time was in a rush to graduate with the best scores to lead them to wealthy rich life.
I couldn’t handle the pressure of keeping up and i collapsed inside, left school. Stop talking with anyone even with my parents.
I felt that time is meaning less and everything around me is unreal and fake. That I have no other future then death.
But i couldn’t attempt suicide, only thoughts which were pushing me to dark.
People close to me saw that something is wrong with me i closed myself and i couldn’t say a word, maybe because of shame that i can’t fix myself.
At first i was thinking that it will pass and everything will snap in right direction, even after seeing school psychologist.
She said something like this: “You have to go throught this difficult time and everything will pass”.
It was not true, but i tried to believe in this.
My rabbit whole i was getting was deeper and deeper. Walk, feel empty, sleep, repeat.
School director let me finish with lowest grades, and i was pushed into life.
Can’t even remember correctly all the situations in that mental state like it’s blurred memory, i want but i can’t, sometimes it makes me cry.
For example I met with someone from that past and I can’t remember anything about what we have done or did even after that person say all the details.
I started working in a small store, fake smile and all of that was working for some time but not for long.
I realised that i never left the rabbit hole, that wrong circle, but i do not want to waste small chance to have any future.
I had some relationships longer or short but i couldn’t handle it because of my low self esteem. I stopped dating and things like that, still have difficulties to meet persons and I am somehow scared that i could love someone and lost someone, because everything would be my fault. That i did wrong to love someone.
After a while I notice people who said that i should do something about it, especially go to doctor.
It took me 3 years, to finally go to the psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with major depression disorder.
It’s my first month on antidepressants and even in the darkest moment i feel that there is a hope for me ( and for all who read this ) that we can fight with difficulties and start enjoing things.
Im sorry that my language is poor, but i wanted to truly leave that rock that is inside me.
I hope that You will not give up.
Peace.

cederikleeuwe:

Tutorial might be too pompous. Let’s call it “a closer look at my workflow for contrasted landscapes” instead.

Anyway, @intmatt messaged me about the recent landscapes that I posted wondering how I made them (if it was gear or editing).

I’m not a gear-oriented photographer at all. All I want is a camera with nice enough image size, good enough in low light and that will produce images that are reasonably sharp. But in truth, give me any camera, including an analog camera or a phone/drone jpeg-only camera, and I’ll be confident in the results I can create with it.

“It’s not the camera”, etc, you’ve all heard it before.

I. Exposure

Before we get to the editing, a word on my exposure habits, hereunder you’ll find a screenshot of the out-of-the-camera raw file opened in camera raw. I tend to underexpose digital photographs because I want to be able to save as much highlight as possible. Depending on the shooting conditions and the image I want to get, I’ll then work towards bringing the low lights / shades back to life.

Conversly, when shooting film, I’ll tend to overexpose my shots for the same reason (but at the other end of the spectrum). 

Digital & film positive : you cannot save what is burned but you can push what’s underexposed
Analog negative : you cannot save the grains that didn’t receive enough light, but will be able to easily salvage slightly overexposed films.

II. Raw-processing

Very simple, couple of minute process on camera-raw that consists in pulling  down highlights, pushing shades and blacks, choosing the clarity level, and white balance. With this test-file I went for warmer tones.

Other tabs I will always use are detail and camera-calibration. With detail I usually sharpen the image a lot while applying noise reduction at the same time, which results in well defined edges and smoother surfaces.

In this example, I’m going for high-contrast landscape so I keep the processing rather dark. I usually keep things simple. 

Though for more thoroughly edited images, I export two or more different settings that I merge in photoshop. That’s how I approach HDR for instance. 
I do not bother with tripods as excess of gear is an absolute pain.

III. Curves

Once in photoshop, I will use adjustment-layers whenever possible, because of their non-destructive and re-editable nature. For this type of image, I optimise the exposure by creating a curves adjustment layer. I usually “pinch” the curves, making the light more intense and the blacks slightly washed out.

I then use the brush tool (0 hardness - low opacity) on the layer mask to prevent undesired white-burning, as I want to prevent the loss of detail in the sky.

IV. Cleaning

I might do this step first, or later but it’s usually never at the end. Using the spot healing tool, I clean the image of any and all distracting bits. In this case, roots, leaves and debris in the field, as well as a whiter spot in the clouds. Before I do this, I duplicate the image layer to keep a backup of the original, just in case. It’s a good habit to have once you work “destructively” (altering the image itself).

V. Colour

The important thing to notice with colour is that it plays an important part in the contrast of an image, especially when you create definite colour zones. 

A rule of thumb that is invaluable to get results is : bluer in shades, yellower in highlights and less red in general. (but with midtones you gotta do a bit of trial and error). Don’t go +30 -30 on me now. Most of the time a 0-10 change in colour value will do loads to improve your images.

I often approach colour corrections in several steps. The first being a general-image correction and the following ones focusing on certain areas that still require improvement.

On the following image, the highlighted layer focuses on the lower and middle part of the image 

While this one aims at correcting the sky and clouds that were too green/cyan to my taste. To avoid changing the lower half of the image, I used the gradient tool in the layer mask to create a smooth transition between the two edited zones.

VI. Final steps

Once colour is done, all that is left is achieving a satisfying lighting and contrast. For this end I’ll use another curve layer, only look at the parts of the image I want to edit and ignore the rest. Once I’m happy with the effect on the zone I’m working on, I will black out on the entire layer mask and then bring back with a white brush (0 hardness-low opacity) the parts that I wanted edited.

I finish it off with a contrast adjustment on which I use gradient tool because I only wanted to give more contrast to the lower third of the image (the line of trees).

And voilà!

This was a 10 minute editing. But nothing stops you from experimenting more. Some of the images that I posted recently have maybe about 10-15 adjustment layers on them, when I try to achieve unnatural colours, for instance.